Traitor

I was nine the very first time I got cold. We had recently moved to Utah, and I went trick-or-treating longer than I should have gone. When I finally got home, I dropped my loot, laid on the couch, and cried for an hour. I had never felt pain like that before.

See, for the first ten years of my life we lived in the tropics. In Puerto Rico the record cold temperature is 60 degrees. It's never once been in the 50s since they started recording. Never. The average temp the entire year is in the 80s. Same for the Dominican Republic. In Ecuador it does get into the 50s late at night, but the average temp throughout the year is in the 60s and 70s. Honestly, how could you expect a child who grew up like that to EVER like snow and cold?! You can't. And I don't.

But I have a confession to make: I'm a traitor to all my fellow cold-haters. My parents have a cabin east of Heber, and guess what?

I prefer the cabin in the winter time.

I know. Despicable. But there is something so appealing about coming in from snow shoeing or sledding, and cozying up in a warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate! Plus, you've never sled until you've done it on slick cabin roads, down steeps hills, for half a mile. You just keep going and going. It's like you're flying!

Yup, I'm a traitor to my kind. I'm starting to like snow.

Adventures with Stripped Tires

Three weeks ago today...

(If you can't see the whole map, click it and it should open up in a new window.)

ps. Easter is in less than four weeks, so if you wanted to make the wooden Easter eggs we did last year, you can buy the eggs here.  Good luck and let me know how it goes!

On a December Day

Random picture, not quite in focus, but still cute.

My day started off fairly normal.  So when I realized that I had some free time, I decided that it was finally the day to head down to BYU (not quite an hour away) to do a couple errands.  For the last five months I had kept an extra pair of undies and pants in my purse for Enoch, but he had never once had an accident outside the home, so I finally decided it was time to take them out. Off we went!

To make the trip fun for the kids, I called my friend Caroline, and she and her son Alex joined us for lunch at JDawgs (heaven!) and bowling at the Games Center before my errands. The kids were having fun and I was super pleased with myself for being such an awesome mom. [Insert back pat and smug smile.] And then--just as we were ending our bowling game--Enoch did the unthinkable.  Something none of my kids have ever done outside the home.  The perfect Murphy's law twist to my pride.  He messed. his. pants.  AHHH!  Right after I took the change of clothes out of my purse!  Talk about dramatic irony. So I did the only thing I could think of doing: I removed his pants and undies, wrapped them in a plastic bag, and borrowed a too-small diaper from my friend just as she was leaving.

Now I had a decision to make:  Do I call it a day and take the kids home?  Or do I insist on doing my errands?  I took a long look at Enoch: his poofy down winter coat, tiny diaper, bare legs, socks, and shoes. He looked really goofy. "Well, I don't care." I thought. "I came a long way, and blast it all, I'm doing what I came for." So off we went, walking at least half a mile through the busiest parts of campus, doing my errands.

You know, when you have three children with you on a university campus, people watch you curiously. But when you have three children on campus in the middle of winter, and one is wearing a huge coat, a tiny diaper, and no pants, people downright STARE.

But hey, the old adage says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service."  It says nothing about pants. :)

Please, Not the Burn Unit!

At 4:45 pm, right on schedule, I started thinking about what to make for dinner.  Then WHACK! it hit me...

My mom bought corned beef and cabbage...St. Patrick's Day...I was supposed to make it for dinner...Oh dang...It surely takes several hours to cook....[look it up]...Yup. Three...Great, I'll only have dinner ready two hours late...How can I speed this up?...Microwave? Really hot oven?...Nah, it'll be tough...Maybe we could have St. Patrick's dinner on the 18th?...No one will care, right? Right??... Wrong...Blast................THAT'S IT!  Pressure cooker!...Janae, [yes, I talk to myself in the third person inside my head] you've never used a pressure cooker before, and you have a tendency to burn yourself at least every other day. This is probably not a good idea...


But I did it anyway.  Me + pressure cooker + no idea what I'm doing = DANGER.  Here's hoping I don't end up in the emergency room tonight.




ps. Just got a text from Sam.  BYU is doing their own New Testament movie in conjunction with the ones the church is doing, and since Sam already had a beard, he figured he'd join in.  Here he is in costume:

Passport Progression

This summer I am taking my kids out of the country for the very first time...a whole 17 minutes across the Canadian border. I know, you are dying of excitement. So is Sam. He's never been to Canada before. I mean, 17 minutes whole minutes into it. That's a lot.

But check it - 17 minutes or not, we still have to have passports to go. Seriously. Luckily, Sam's passport expires a month after we get back. And the kids can actually go with birth certificates. But me? Well, apparently if you don't update your name within one year of marriage, your passport is invalid. Boo.

Anyway, as I went through the whole application process for getting a new passport, I found all my old ones. Sadly, my best passport pic was at age 6--with at least half a head of bangs.

Feb 1983 (7 mo) ------- May 1989 (6 yrs) ------- Jan 2000 (17 yrs) ------- Feb 2011 (28 yrs)

So while I was at it, I decided to get a Canadian passport as well. Just to make me that much cooler when I'm crossing the border into Canada. Because dual citizenship actually does make you awesomer than everyone else on the planet. Unfortunately, you aren't allowed to smile for your Canadian passport (hence that last pic) because they want to know what you look like when you are in angry-killer mode.  Since I know my angry-killer face is incriminating, I nixed the straight face and did an almost smile.  I'm tricky like that.

Date Style v Family Style

Dinner and a movie: date style.  Dinner first.  Somewhere like Olive Garden.  Stay and talk as long as you can.  Then go to the movie at a nice theater.  Hold hands.  Meander out when it's over. End with dessert.

Dinner and a movie: family style.  Movie first.  (Otherwise it would be too late.)  Dollar variety, of course. Start with potty trips.  Several of them.  Watch with a child on each parent's lap, hold hands with the one that doesn't fit.  Book it as soon as the film ends.  Dinner at Costco. Get pizza sauce everywhere.  End with a potty trip.

Sweet to Sinister

This last weekend Sam asked me to snap some pics of his beard so we have a good record of it. (That's not going to be a problem, I am sooo planning on getting our family pictures taken with his beard. Once in a lifetime opportunity.)

As we uploaded them on the computer I couldn't help but remember these pictures.  Oh, how different he looks!  He's not even trying to look mean in the after picture.  Apparently his straight face is pretty sinister.  (Which is fine by me, since mine looks cruel/suicidal.)

By the way, in case you were wondering, they were supposed to film April-May.  Then May-June.  Now the director has moved it to June-July.  Which is right in the middle of our family vacation that I ALREADY PLANNED.  Not that I'm angry or bitter or frustrated or upset.  But if he ruins my vacation, he better watch his back.  Just sayin'.

ps. While I'm linking stuff, we made playdoh again. It's bought me at least 2-3 free hours every day since. I love playdoh.

The Marshmallow Test

"Can I do the Marshmallow Test on your kids?" my brother Liam asked me half an hour ago.
"What?"
"The Marshmallow Test! You know, from this:"

"Ooooh. Sure."




He just got done. Here's how they did:

Enoch: Since he's only two (the experiment was on four year-olds), Liam only put him in the room for five minutes (instead of fifteen). In those five minutes Enoch didn't move an inch. He sat stone still. He got his second marshmallow.
Elijah: He's four, so he got the full fifteen minutes. He spent his time "watching the marshmallow." He waited 14 minutes before he gave in and ate it. He was devastated and begged to try again.
Seara: She's five, and also got the full fifteen. She spent her time rolling around on the floor and distracting herself.  She waited handily and got the second marshmallow.

I need to come up with more experiments to do on my kids, that was funny!

Quotable Quotes

These have nothing to do with the post, but I never put our family

pictures from this last September on the blog, so here they are.

While jamming to Away in a Manger...
Elijah: Yeah!! Rocking rolls!

Upon seeing bearded Sam jogging in the morning with a beanie on...
Neighbor [to herself]: Who is that homeless guy?!

On a Saturday morning when I slept in until 10 am because I was sick...
Seara: Mom, you're being nocturnal. You're sleeping during the day. 

The morning after we visited the BYU Museum of Art followed by a friend's (Alex) house...
Lija: Can we go to Alex's house today?
Sease: No, it's too far away.
Lija: No it's not, it's right by the International Jesus Museum!

While she was fast asleep on a long drive home from Arizona...
Seara: Mom! Dad! Look! My ears are growing!

During our Family Devotional before the kids go to bed...
Sam: Seara, do you know why Jesus got baptized?
Seara: It's a secret! And I hid it ... in mommy's head! Tell him, mommy!

When our incredibly adorable neighbor came over to babysit...
Lije: [whispering and blushing] Mom, I need to be more handsome.

EYE love you

Hello, and welcome to my very first year as a mom worrying about Valentine's cards! As with most moms, my first concern was TO BUY? or TO MAKE?

I decided to make them. Within certain parameters.

MUST BE
easy
cheap
fast
fun for both genders

Lucky for me, I had Sam. I decided on an EYE theme and Sam drew me the pictures. Seara and I put it on colored paper, added heads (that I enlarged from the class picture we got), and glued on eyes. Easy, cheap, fast, and fun. I love them!

Here's the template, in case you want to copy my awesomeness. Click on the picture, right click and save it, then print.

ps. For Valentine's we also made a heart garland out of yarn and had a heart lunch - hotdogs, string cheese, and strawberry toast, all made into hearts. Thank you Family Fun magazine.

My Daily Drab

 You know, sometimes you get this idea in your head that everyone else in the world is just like you.  That what you do is completely normal.  That everybody does it.

This is not true.

And I found that out loud and clear this afternoon.  Apparently the new mode among bloggers is to post pictures of your outfits, right?  But get this: they actually dress up cute. I mean boots, scarves, belts. Yeah.  I know.  Stylish mothers.  Unbelievable. Check these guys out before you read on:

Sam's cousin
Sam's cousins' wife*
A friend's sister-in-law


So apparently I didn't get bitten by the style bug.  Oh, the oceans of difference between me and them!  Just to capture the irony, I snapped some picture of my daily drab...

1) Tube socks with slippers.  I wear these slippers a minimum of 5-6 days a week.  I wear them to the school. I wear them to the store.  I wear them in the rain and in the snow.  I love these slippers.  (And my tube socks.)  I am super cool.  Obviously.

2) My only pair of jeans. Yes, I only have ONE pair of jeans.  (Thanks to Sam, who coerced me into trashing these ones.) I wear these beauties every day Monday-Saturday.  I only wash them once a week, because it's hard to wash your jeans when you only have one pair.  I mean, what do you wear while you wash them??

3) A t-shirt.  I almost always wear plain t-shirts.  Even in the winter.  Although I do vary between v-neck and round-neck.  And I'll add my one of my two hoodies if it's cold.

4) And, of course, to top it all off I wear my glasses and a pony.  Because they really match the style of my clothing, you know?  I mean, you can't wear your slippers everywhere and actually have your hair done!  The irony!

*Okay, she's actually not a mother, she's just cute and married.

Who needs help!?

The kids recognized where we were the minute we drove up.  FLU SHOTS. [sigh] I'm not sure who hates them worse, me or the kids.

After a twenty minute wait, the nurse brought the four of us into the exam room. Enoch was nervous, so we decided to start with him and get it over with. He got the shot, whimpered, but handled it like a champ.  Seara was next.  She got the nasal stuff, winced, and was fine.  Then me.  They were out of adult nasal stuff, so I had to have a shot. I plastered on an amazingly fake "this is easy and fun!" face.  Totally believable. This was turning out great!  I knew I could do it by myself.  Who needs help!?  Not me!

I turned to grab Elijah. Hmmm, I swear he was just standing there.  I looked under the desk, behind the table, and in the corner. Nothing. Then the nurse noticed that the door was just slightly ajar.  Aw, blast. I quickly ran out and checked the nearby exam rooms.  Nothing.  I checked all the way down the hallway.  Nothing.  Bathrooms?  Nothing. I ran into the waiting room.  Nothing.  Toy area?  Nothing. Receptionists?  Saw nothing. Okay, either someone has kidnapped my child, or... I ran to the last place I thought possible: outside. Nothing in huge double door entry.  Nothing just outside the doors.

And then I saw him.  50 feet away from me, booking it to the busy parking lot.  "Elijah!!!"  That was when the screaming began.  I ran like the wind, scooped up the wailing, flailing child, and dragged him inside.  We (loudly) battled our way back to the exam room, while the other parents stared and their children's eyes got huge with panic.  I tried to convince Elijah to do the nasal stuff, but rather than inhale, he shot it out of his nose all over the nurse.  So I wrestled the now hysterical child, pinned him down, and they stuck him.

Then, as if some miracle had just occurred, he went dead silent. As if nothing had happened.  He got his sticker and we walked out of there with complete composure.




Sometimes, knowing I can blog about something is the only thing that makes it worth it.

Before & After

When we were first married, Sam and I decided that to save money I should cut his hair. We got a razor, and since I had no clue what I was doing, I invented a way to cut hair. Seriously, I just made it up. Sam wore a hat round the clock after my first few attempts.  I only know how to use a razor, no scissors, so it's lucky for me that Sam has never wanted his hair longer than the #8 attachment! (Lest you think I am completely incompetent, I actually do taper at the neck and around the ears. I am only mostly incompetent, thank you very much.)

Well, round these parts hair cutting is a family affair. When Sam wants a haircut, everyone gets one. And when Sam doesn't want a haircut, no gets one.  Are you putting two and two together? The boys were already shaggy when Sam started growing out his hair a week before Halloween, and without Sam to pester me to cut his hair, well, they only got shaggier.  Soon they started looking like the Beetles.  Enoch's hair flipped out cute around his ears, but he also was growing an 80's tail worth envying.  Elijah just looked like he had a mop on his head.  Well, it could only go on so long before I was completely humiliated to be seen with my own sons.  So here you go, our before and after pics:

ps. Seara's hair was actually an accident. I only intended to trim a couple inches off the bottom, but she jerked mid-cut. When I tried to cut to that level, I went diagonally shorter and, well, you can see what happened.

pps. While I'm at it, here are our recent stats:
Seara - 42.5 in, 38.8 lbs
Elijah - 42.5 in, 38.8 lbs
Enoch - 36 in, 32 lbs

WOOT!

My favorite source of music is movie soundtracks.  The best songs always come from soundtracks.  My favorites over the years have included Sleepless in Seattle, Runaway Bride, and Meet the Robinsons.  And a million others.  You'll recognize Le Festin by Camille.  I've been wanting to use this one for years and finally had the footage to work with it.  Woot!

(Parenthetically, did you know that "woot" --which is an interjection similar to "yay!" or "woohoo!"--actually began from Dungeons and Dragons as an abbreviation of their term, "Wow, loot!"  Apparently it spread.  Interesting.  You can add that to your Gee Wiz file.)

First Crushes

EXHIBIT ONE: Sam's first crush
Sam was four when he decided what made a woman beautiful:

1. Blond hair
2. Bad posture
3. Dances like a clown

This was his first crush. Yes, he still has a picture of her.

EXHIBIT TWO: My first crush
I was also four when I decided what made a man handsome:

1. Black hair
2. Beard
3. Bass voice

This was my first crush. (The guy who fits the quota above.) Seriously.  Yes, my first crush was an animated character.  So was my second.

EXHIBIT THREE:  Success Rates
I'm blond with bad posture and I dance like a clown.  Three of three for Sam!
Sam has black hair, and thanks to the need for extras in an upcoming New Testament film, he's currently got a beard.  Two of three for me! Not bad.

Sam's fam at his sister's wedding in December

at a recent BYU basketball game

Now, if only we could find a way to make a baritone into a bass...

Thumb Sucker

When Enoch was a newborn we noticed something quirky about him. He loved to suck his thumb (Hallelujah! Easiest baby yet!) But while he sucked his thumb, he also held his ear. See?

Does that remind you of anything? How about this?

Well, recently, ear holding has taken on a whole new dimension. Apparently, it doesn't matter whose ear he holds, as long as he's got an ear...

He's a funny one, that Bean!

DIY Projects

I always have lofty ideas for projects around the house.  I can come up with amazing ideas and grandiose plans.  My problem is not time, or will-power, or drive, or sticktoitiveness.  No, it's sheer capability.  I lack coordination all together.  These are my projects as of late:

1) A trundle for the bunk bed.  You know, so we could move our poor 2 1/2 year old out of the pack&play and into a real bed.  I tried to convince my dad to help me make it, but he's no dummy.  He knows how inept I am.  So he found a carpenter, and I paid that guy to make it. (The wood color is slightly different only because the other stuff has seen the sun. Give the trundle a couple months with a window and it will match perfectly.)

2) Reupholster my great-grandparents' recliner.  I love family history, and this chair is like a treasure to me.  My own family heirloom.  And it's super comfy.  Need I repeat the story above?  I'm inept, my dad found a reupholsterer, and a lovely benefactress paid that guy to do it.  I ADORE this chair.

(For the record, I did sand, stain, and seal the wood on the bottom of the chair.  Okay, okay.  Sam actually stained and sealed most of it.  But I sanded!  Only because it's hard for me to mess that part up.)

3) Make a magnetic, chalkboard, puppet stage for the kids for Christmas.   Haha.  This one is bad.  So I conned my dad into making it.  I stood around and watched while trying to look helpful.  I did absolutely nothing.  My brother Liam put on the magnetic primer.  Sam put on the chalkboard paint.  And, the curtains?  Well, my mom tried to show a little faith in me.  She actually showed me how to do the stitching on the sewing machine.  But in the end she relegated me to the iron, and she did all the sewing. And due to everyone else doing it, it turned out awesome!

4) Make my parents a Smith plaque. When I got home from my mission, I lived with my companion Heidi Livingstone.  In her home, her parents have 1 Peter 2:5 displayed.  It reads something like this, "You also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house."  I thought that was amazingly cool.  Too bad you can't find Ricks anywhere in the scriptures.  But you can find Smith!  I bought a tile, got Sam to design the scripture, had my friend Bekah print it up on vinyl, and I, yes I, applied the vinyl to the tile.  See?  I can too do something. :)