September 08 Movie

For Sale: 1 Year-Old ... AGAIN

So yesterday night I was doing the dishes, right? And I was just about done, I just needed to wash out the sink. I rinsed it out, checked to make sure there weren't any spoons or what not in the garbage disposal, and flipped the switch. Hmmmm ... that high pitched clinking sound is not normal ... so I check the disposal again. Nothing. Alright. I turn it back on. The clinking isn't going away. Something must be caught inside. But I swear I checked. I swear ... I swear ...


See that little beauty? Yeah, it may never look like that again. Right now it sports various gashes, is missing gold chunks, and is nicely bent out of shape. I think I will sell Elijah after all.

Eastern Excursion 10: Orioles

One of the promises I made to my dad when we moved out here to Baltimore was that I would not become an Orioles fan. I could attends games, I could cheer for them, I could like them. But I promised to hold true to the faith of my fathers. Dodgers fan. True blue, through and through. Come good seasons ('55, '59, '63, '65, '81, and '88) or bad (every other year from 1901 until now). Dad, we went. We cheered. We liked. We were not converted.

BALTIMORE ORIOLES GAME

Why do I do that with my neck??

Formerly the Milwaukee Brewers and the St. Louis Browns, the Orioles have been around since 1901. Sorry, but that's all the history I really care about. Why is it that sports teams change names so often? (And then don't change names when they should, like the Utah Jazz.) Anyway, they call the Orioles the "O's". That is funny because of this tradition:

We were almost to our seats when a woman began singing the national anthem. She was wearing a fancy prom-type dress and singing all operatic-like. She most of the way through the song when she reached this part, "gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there ..." and she paused. Then the entire crowd yelled "O!!!" and then went silent, and the woman continued, " ... say does that star-spangled banner yet wave". I admit, I laughed through the rest of the song. It was really, really bizarre! Apparently they do that at every game. Strange. Also strange is that during the seventh inning stretch, immediately following "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" they all sing "Thank [Goodness] I'm a Country Boy". I find this especially strange because Maryland is NOT the south. Virginia, just an hour from here, is. But we are not. They can eat grits, but we cannot. I don't know why, it's just the rules. And still they sing the song with such fervor. It was soooo funny!

One interesting tidbit: one of the starting pitchers, Jeremy Guthrie, is a devout Mormon who served a mission in Spain, and attended both BYU and Stanford. Yeah, my opinion of the Orioles just increased, as well. But don't worry, dad, I'm still not converted.

Um, I think they spelled "Utah" wrong.

Sam's trying to watch the game over me. Does he actually think we came to watch?!

Like the double chin? :) The kid is a tank!
Here we are again. I was a little camera happy.

(So we had some pictures of the kids and a REALLY cute one of the whole family with the field behind us. Except the dumb cell phone automatically deletes pictures unless you select 'save' after each one you take, but I'm a dope and didn't realize it. I want my real camera back!!)

Eastern Excursion 9: Ocean City

Still haven't resolved my camera issues. My darling visiting teacher (the mom of 10 - remember? I wrote about them the first week we were here) lent me her video camera for the trip, and we used Sam's cell phone to take pictures. (Yeah, we don't have a camera - our video camera took really good pictures, so we never bought one. Now you see why the video camera breaking is such a big deal??)

OCEAN CITY

Population: 7,173 - Elevation: 7 ft - Land Area: 4.6 sq/mi

Ocean City is an Atlantic Ocean resort town that is basically a tiny peninsula - it is 9 miles long and only a couple blocks wide! If the ocean keeps rising this place is dead. But that is besides the point. My only complaint is that it is three hours away from us. I know. I thought we lived on the east coast too. We are right next to Chesapeake Bay, but three hours from the ocean. Yuck. So we left at 7:30am and got to the beach at 10:30. Anyway, Ocean City is supposed to be crazy in the summer - hence we waited until after Labor Day to go. It was really nice for us - there were enough people to make it interesting, but not so many that it was nuts. And even though we went so late in the season, it was still pretty warm - about 78* during the early afternoon when we played in the water, and only got cold later on when it didn't matter. Man, just writing about this and looking at the pictures makes me happy. I love water. I love beaches. I love bathing suits. I love, love, love everything about the ocean!!

Lunch on the beach

Holding my hair thing down - not trying to be some super model

This was Samuel's first time seeing and swimming in the Atlantic. It was only his fifth time seeing the ocean. Perhaps it is because I lived on small islands for seven years of my childhood, but that seems soooo strange to me! He saw the ocean for the very first time when he was on his mission in Chile. He saw it for a second time - and swam in it for the first time - when we were engaged. His third time was on our honeymoon. His fourth was during our vacation to Cali last summer. Weird. Anyway, because of that he and Elijah were the perfect companions - both are fascinated by the waves and water.

I think this is Sam's first time being buried in sand

We could not keep Elijah away from the water!! I can't wait to make our September movie, just so you can see him run to the water every time we pulled him away. He would just stand (or sit) on the sand, wait for the tide to come in and wash all over him, and squeal gleefully. And he did it for FOUR HOURS. Luckily the water was really warm. (Warmer than our complex pool, amazingly.)

Waiting for the tide

Lija looking longingly at the water - mom blocking him so he doesn't escape

Seara, on the other hand, touched the water ONE time. The wave coming in and hitting her scared her and she never went back. She was pleased as punch to stay on land and play with sand.

Seara refused to look at me

Almost caught her looking - but not quite

Enoch's favorite part was looking around at all the new sites. He's only two months old, what did you expect?



As soon as it started getting windy and cold we went walking on the boardwalk to see the classic tourist stuff (kite shows, carnivals, etc). It was interesting to see, but I would hate to be here during the busy season!

Sam with the boardwalk behind him

Carnival

Kite show

Enoch loves this carrier - and I love this goofy face!

Our attempt at taking a picture together. Not too bad. Except that I look taller than him.

Eastern Excursion 8: Inner Harbor

I'm not even going to get in to how my fourth baby (aka my video camera) broke and how I cried like a loved one had died and how I made Sam put off all trips until I figured out what to sell so that I could buy a new camera. (I renege on my offer to sell Elijah. But I still haven't figured out how to resolve this tragedy.) Luckily for Sam, my sweet cousin Brian came in town for a conference last week, and since Brian had a camera, we actually left the house. Since we only had Brian for one night, we decided to do something that would be short and that would allow Brian to see Baltimore.

INNER HARBOR

The Inner Harbor is a historic seaport and an iconic landmark of the City of Baltimore. It was once a leading port of entry for immigrants, second only to Ellis Island. The area used to be really run down, but the city has sunk (sinked? sunked?) millions of dollars into restoring it and now it is one of the best places to really see Baltimore. (You've seen Inner Harbor before - from the picture we took during our visit to Federal Hill Park.) There is a brick walking trail around the whole thing, and it leads past various museums, restaurants, boats, and water taxis. We started our trip with a picnic dinner on Federal Hill, and then walked around the Inner Harbor until twilight. I love Baltimore!

Federal Hill Park is the big green lump in the background of this picture.

A not-very-tall lighthouse.

This one is for you, Lissa.

Brushing the back of your hair forward is the newest fad. See how cool it looks on me?

This is a fun night-time panorama I stole (legally) off Wikipedia. Click on it to see it big.

Calvin Captured

I have been having way too many of these days lately:

Blogger Profile Image

Yup, this hottie is my husband:

Bolivia

I spent my senior year in high school as an exchange student in Cochabamba, Bolivia. Cocha is an amazingly beautiful, tropical city, known as the "City of Eternal Spring" and "The Garden City" because of its year round spring-like temperatures. It features the largest Christ statue in the world (taller than the one in Rio), the largest open-air market in South America, and a beautiful LDS temple.


The best part about my living in Cocha, though, was the group of friends I made. And this weekend, for the first time in eight years, I got back together with one of them. Ceci was in the US visiting her aunt, and she made a special trip to Maryland just to see me. I wasn't sure if I should hug her forever, or just sit down and cry. I nearly did both!!


This weekend was one of the happiest reunions of my life! Its funny, but I didn't really appreciate friendship until we moved out here to Maryland. Now that I don't have any friends or family near me, though, I have suddenly become keenly aware of how much I value my friends. So to all of you dear friends who love and accept me despite my being way too talkative and waaaaaay too opinionated, THANK YOU.



ps. Sam says I don't talk too much. Is he lying? Because I think of all the sentences that have ever been said to me, approximately 32.589% percent of them have to do with my talking too much. So I'm not sure if he:

(1) loves me so much he is blind
(2) loves me so much he lies so as not to hurt my feelings
(3) is trying to kiss up to me
(4) is actually telling the truth and some time in the last decade or so I'm somehow learned to shut my trap

FOR SALE: 1 Year-Old

Remember this and this? Well, last week, thanks to this:

Half of this:
Ended up like this:

(This picture is just one spot, imagine an entire room of carpet looking like this. I only wish I were exaggerating.) I wiped. And dabbed. And spotted. And then gave up. I am now $100 poorer and the proud owner of this:
It worked like a dream! Phew! If I were rich, I would give this away at baby showers. Anyway, so I thought, "Wow, that was traumatic. I'm glad things like this don't happen every day." Ha. Ha. Ha. Two days later Samuel woke up at 5:30am to fold the laundry I had sitting on our kitchen counter for ... well, enough days that Sam woke up at 5:30 to fold it. At 6:30 I got up and took over. At 8:00 I finally finished everything except putting the kids clothes in their room. I waited until they were up and ready, got them distracted with crayons and paper at the counter, and walked the 15 feet into their room to put the clothes away. I walked out to find fifteen places in my living room that looked like this:

So, if you want him, I'll give you Elijah free of charge. You only have to pay shipping. For real.

Anyway, I was thinking about all this, and mulling in self-pity about how under appreciated mothers really are, when I realized that I was wrong. I get complimented numerous times daily for the things I do. For example:

Me: [writing a to-do list]
Seara: Good drawing mommy!

Me: [eating my breakfast]
Elijah: Good eating, momma!

Seara: What does a lion say?
Me: Rawrrrrrr
Seara: Mm-hmm, you're right! So smart, mommy!

Okay, so it's not as thankless as I thought.


ps. While I was buying the Bissell, I saw this in Target:


It was September 9th, for heaven's sake. They were barely taking down the Back to School stuff and putting up the Halloween stuff, and Christmas is ready to go???

Finally! (Sam Post)

Well, everyone, I'm finally posting. You should be proud.

Things you may not know children can do. They can:

1. Pull poop giblets out of their diapers without removing their diapers, sprinkling said giblets on the floor and smearing them on bunkbed planks, then going back to sleep without letting on they've done anything.
2. Pull lining out of their diapers without removing their diapers, thereby scattering small water retention particles over all bedroom surfaces
3. Mix any beverage with any food source to make mush

Eastern Excursion 7: Renaissance Festival

Come ye, come ye! Gather, ye ladies and gentlemen, ye lovers of Dungeons & Dragons, ye members of the Quill & Scroll club, ye people who wear strange black robes around BYU campus ...

MARYLAND RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL

This was supposed to be Seara & Elijah, but she wouldn't cooperate.

Apparently Maryland boasts the second largest Renaissance Festival in the United States. I believe it! Their English Tudor village, "Revel Grove, Oxfordshire, England," is set in 25 acres of woods. 25 ACRES. That is huge to me. I'd like to own 25 acres. Actually, I'd like to own just one acre ... or a half ... or a fifth ... or anything that is not an apartment. But that is a story for another day.

You can rent costumes at the festival - about half the people there were dressed up.

me & some fountain thing

So they have it all set up for the year 1541. Each year the festival progresses a year, so next year will be 1542. And each year King Henry VIII and his Royal Court come to visit the town. So this year is just after King Henry VIII divorced his fourth wife and married his fifth. (Dirt bag.) The Royal Court is all dressed up, as are nearly one hundred other actors, and they all wander around talking to people. They are hilarious! (Especially the ones with painfully bad British accents.) There are glass blowers, magicians, jugglers, and mimes (did they even have mimes in the 16th century??). The whole village is full of craft shops (can you say 'tourist trap'?), as well as ten major stages, and a Jousting Arena with authentic jousting - in full armor. (Poor horses.) I got it on video, so you'll be able to see it in my September movie. They had a kids play area, pony rides, and a gigantic slide. And I mean GIGANTIC. Like the huge ones they have a 7 Peaks. Sam took Seara down it, and I took Elijah. Elijah squeeled with joy, and I held on to him for dear life (my life, not his).

I thought she would be scared. Nope. She's our future equestrian.Elijah didn't understand the "hold on" part.

Oh yeah. And there were hundreds of people who forgot half their clothing and were getting more and more drunk by the moment. We enjoyed ourselves, but before it was half over, we were ready to go!

Us. Happy to be leaving. Our noses look larger than normal, don't you think?

I am NORMAL

I am normal. I am not brilliant. I am not beautiful. I am nothing special. (Okay, okay, to God I'm special, yeah, yeah, but you know what I mean.) And I AM OKAY WITH THAT. Nothing is wrong with being normal. NOTHING. And you know what? I'm also okay with the fact that my kids will most likely be normal as well. They don't walk by 9 months or speak sentences by a year. And that is just fine by me. So why is it that when I say this to people, they insist that my kids are so smart and that I am so beautiful. I know its not the truth, and I wonder why they insist it is. Well, today I was listening in NPR (I do that a lot) and they broadcast a show with the guy who started the What White People Like blog. I get it now.

#16 "Gifted" Children

White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?

I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.

The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?

Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.

Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.

Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.

This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.

But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.

ps. If you comment with some dumb reassurance, I will block you from ever reading my blog again. Okay, I won't. I can't. But I will want to.

Enoch Pics & Traits

Alright, alright. To anyone other than the mother these two pictures look exactly the same. I know. I should have just picked one and put it up. I couldn't help myself. But look at Enoch's smile. Notice how his upper lips gets thin and arcs up just slightly (rather than just going straight across his face)? That is how my brother Davis smiles. Every time I see Enoch smile, I think of Davis. Now notice how Enoch's eyes slant downward. Thats from me. So are his big hands. My mom always tried to make me feel better by calling them piano-playing hands, but I knew the truth. They were just big. But thats okay. Enoch will probably be able to palm a basketball by age 3. :)