It's gotta be in the water

trick-or-treating at the Zoo - I just found this picture

I was 8 months pregnant with Enoch when we moved to Maryland. One of the first things I noticed there was that the grocery store had 'Expecting Mother' parking spots right up front ... and they were always empty. In fact, outside of church, I think I only ever saw ONE pregnant woman.

Then we moved back to Utah. Suddenly it seemed like every third person I saw was pregnant. Every neighborhood had at least 10 women who were expecting. I joked that it must be in the water ... but until recently I didn't realize how right I was.

See, we got a family zoo pass for the kids a couple months ago. And, I swear, there is a "New Baby!" birth announcement at every third exhibit. So today I looked it up. In just six months this year the Hogle Zoo welcomed ...

1 Elephant,
3 Black-tailed Prairie Dogs,
1 Snow Leopard,
1 Siamese Crocodile,
1 Howler Monkey,
1 African Black-footed Cat,
6 Meerkats,
1 Giraffe,
2 Golden Lion Tamarins (twins),
1 Columbus Monkey, and
3 Amur Tigers.

That's twenty-one new babies. In six months.

Yup. It's gotta be the water.

Something Quiet

On Monday Seara and Elijah were getting pretty rowdy during preschool. I had been reading a book about creating a peaceful atmosphere in preschool and decided to try one of the techniques suggested. In a very slow, calm voice I whispered, "I want you to think of something quiet. Don't tell me what it is, just think about it in your head." The kids were instantly silent. I directed the kids to sit down. They sat down solemnly and waited. Then I whispered, "Seara, what are you thinking about?"

"Grandpa," she whispered back.

"Elijah, what are you thinking about?"

In the most quiet, serious voice he whispered, "Grizzly bears."

Prepare to be Disgusted

The main floor toilet has been plugged up for three days. I think every able-bodied adult has tried to plunge it numerous times, to no avail.

My mom announced tonight that she thinks it must be a toy the kids flushed down.

My dad replied that if it is a toy, it is probably stuck at the very first curve in the pipes. But, he said, his hands are too big to reach in the pipes. Someone with small hands has to do it. [sigh] Comparing with family members is so not fair. Even with my abnormally large hands, I still lost.

You can't help but wonder if they came up with this just to see you act the fool. It took a long, long time to convince me. And then, just when I was getting ready, Sam shows up with the camera. Awesome.

For the record, I got in above the elbow. I found nothing. That may, or may not, be a good thing.

I don't think I'm going to eat for at least a month.


ps. Don't take me too seriously. I wouldn't post this if I didn't think it was hilarious. In the most vile, vulgar, disgusting sort of way. :)

Story Time

Seara: Can I tell you a story?
Me: Sure.
Seara: Once upon a time there was a Prince Daddy and a Princess Mommy. They went to a faraway land. They saw a witch! Prince Daddy was locked in the castle. But Princess Mommy saved him!

Yeah, girl. That's exactly how fairy tales should be. :)

an 'Incredible' Halloween

This year was my first attempt at putting together Halloween costumes. Normally I either ...

1) pretend it's not Halloween,
2) admit that it's Halloween but do nothing about it, or
3) dress my kids in their cousins' old costumes because I feel guilty for being a lame mom.

Well, not this year. This year I went all out. First, we cracked my mom's costume box and dressed up in different outfits nearly every day. Well, except Enoch. We borrowed this Nemo costume from Sam's cousin and he wore it nearly every day, just because it was so cute!

guess who is mad at me ...

Then there were our Trick-or-Treating costumes. I spent hours and hours shopping. I bought half of every store, and then returned nearly all of it. I had numerous 'try this on' sessions with my kids. I sewed. (I hope you didn't faint at that revelation!) I went all out. And you know what I decided? I am NEVER doing that again!! From here on out, it's store bought monkey costumes for us!

Here is our inspiration:

my brother Liam as Syndrome --- Seara as Violet

Elijah as Dash --- Enoch as Jack-Jack

Me as Elastigirl --- Sam as Mr. Incredible

Incredible logo Jack-o-Lantern

the Incredible Family

Liam's friend Alicia as Mirage

Happy Halloween from the Incredible Crew!

October 09 Movie

I'm generally not someone who listens to bluegrass, but you know what? I think this song just might be on my list of top 10 best songs of all time. And the one part over the picture with me in it? Purely accidental. Sam half rolled his eyes and half smiled when he saw it. I'll admit that once I saw it, I wasn't about to change it. Somewhere deep inside I think I secretly hope that he feels this way about me. He's not exactly the most verbal husband on earth (while, on the other hand, I quite possibly am the most verbal wife on earth), so I often just compliment myself in front of him and hope that he agrees. Case in point. :)

Must Do Utah: Ensign Peak

I am blond. Most of the time I don't think I fit the blond stereotype. But sometimes I do.

See, when I was 13 I started noticing that whenever I ran, I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone put cheesecloth in my throat. And then a sumo wrestler sat on my rib cage. So did I tell my mother or go to the doctor? NOOOOO. Cuz that would be intelligent. Instead, I told all my gym teachers for the next three years that I had bad knees (which is actually true) and got permission to walk around the track while everyone else ran. And I dated only boys who didn't like to do athleticky types of things. And I learned where every single elevator was on BYU campus.

It wasn't until 11 years later, when I was pregnant with Elijah, that I had an epiphany: I have exercise-induced ASTHMA. You'd think that since my mom had it when she was young, and since I have three other siblings with the same thing, that I might have figured it out sooner. But NOOOOO. I'm not that intelligent. Actually, I'm just blond.

Why do I DO that with my neck?!!

So last night Sam and I went on a DATE. (Yeah, weird. I know.) And we did something that we have wanted to do ever since we met: we hiked Ensign Peak. It's a super short hike - not quite half a mile each way. But it's uphill. About a third of the way up my lungs decided to quit. The rest of me was fine, but those blasted lungs have a mind of their own. So of course I whipped out my trusty inhaler ... oh wait, no. I'm blond. No, instead I completely forgot my inhaler. Sam, being the kind, sensitive husband that he is, asks, "So, what should I do if your lungs collapse?" And I, being the snappy, sarcastic wife that I am, respond, "Call 911 and carry me down the hill." Yeah, my marriage ROCKS.

the valley as the sun started to set - click to enlarge

No, but seriously, we made it to the top just fine. It's so short that the uphillness is really not that big of a deal. Once you're at the top. It feels like a big deal on the way up when your lungs are freaking collapsing.

Anyway, "WHY," you ask, "is Ensign Peak so cool?" Because before leaving Nauvoo, Brigham Young had a vision of the Prophet Joseph and was shown the peak and where to build the city. Just two days after they arrived in the valley, Brigham and eight others hiked the peak and Brigham told them that this "'was a proper place to raise an ensign to the nations." Plus, you can see FOUR temples from the top. Awesome. Literally. As in, it inspires awe.

the sunset - click to enlarge

You should go. Really. We brought drinks and snacks and picnicked at the top while the sun set. It was LOVELY. So, here are directions to it. Make sure you look up the time the sun will set and plan to start your hike about 30 minutes before so you have plenty of time. You'll love it.

Five Reasons I'll Die Before 50

1) Monday lunch: handful of chocolate chips, handful of almonds, chocolate milk
2) Tuesday lunch: 5 pieces of licorice, three pringles, chocolate milk
3) Wednesday lunch: handful of chocolate chips, ovaltine
4) Thursday lunch: pack of fruit snacks, eight pringles, strawberry milk
5) Friday lunch: half bag of popcorn, strawberry milk

Big Hands

About a month ago I found Seara outside drawing these:

When I asked Sease about them she told me they were "hands". Later that night she drew this:


Either Seara has discovered hands, or else she has noticed that mine are abnormally large. (They are. But they are pretty and big. So I'll keep em. Not that I had a choice. But if I did, I'd keep em.)

Must Do Utah: Silver Lake

So you're thinking to yourself:

"I want to teach my kids to love the great outdoors. And I know I really ought to take them hiking. But my real concern is not if THEY can handle it. It's if I can handle it. I'm so out of shape it's sick."

Well, my friend, you have come to the right place! Meet the wimpiest hiker and hike around: Me and Silver Lake. We're talking boardwalk and flat path. With a huge lake, ducks, mountains, and basic gorgeousness. Yeah, I'm awesome.

We stopped by Aunt Lola's cabin so the boys could nap and we could read.

Now if only I had posted this before it was freezing outside. (Hey, but maybe there are great fall colors up there right now. In fact, for another week there probably are! Too bad Utah's autumn is only three days long. But if you do want to go, just drive all the way to the top of Big Cottonwood Canyon. You'll see the signs for the lake.)

Quick Ketchup

Get it? Ketchup? Catch up? Yeah, I heard that one in 6th grade and am STILL laughing about it. So I'm easily amused. Sue me. Or send me your fathers/fathers-in-law. I laugh at Dad Jokes, so grown men tend to love me. When I was single they'd try to get me to marry their sons - just so they'd have someone to laugh at their lame jokes. I'm always willing to oblige.

Okay, enough rambling. I've fallen off the end of the earth. (Didn't you hear? It is flat, after all!) I don't have the time or energy to come up with entertaining blog posts. But I did just hook up my camera for the first time since August and I have all these pictures that I need to journal about. If you have trouble with insomnia, you've come to the right place! This will put you right to sleep. Here we go. Have a nice nap.

• This summer we went through a huge container of sidewalk chalk. Seara just couldn't get enough of it. You can see why I stick with just writing my name whenever Sam is drawing with us.
  
  

• Using rocks and balls in water (see single picture of Enoch), I tried to teach the kids sink v float. Instead it turned into "see how hard we can throw the rock into the water and how big of a splash it will make." The rocks promptly 'disappeared.' I'm gonna cry the day that the kids figure out what 'disappeared' really is. (And in case you were wondering, yes, smiling is against Seara's religion.)

• We made a volcano. I was supposed to put red food coloring in the lava to make it more realistic, but I really didn't want to risk a red food coloring mess. So we just had white, foamy lava. I'm such a party pooper. :)
  
  
  

• Elijah's favorite pastime recently has been sticking marshmallows to random body parts.
  
  

• Now that it is cold and we can't play in the water I've been taking the kids on near-daily field trips associated with what we're doing in preschool. We've gone to the zoo, the aviary, the Thanksgiving Point Barn, the aquarium, the grocery store, the library, the dollar theater, Cornbelly's, the Bean Museum, and the Museum of Peoples and Cultures. This afternoon we're headed to Wheeler Farm to milk the cows. Since I've done all but one of these trips alone (with three kids! I so deserve exaltation for that one. (Duck to miss the lightning.)) I don't take my camera. I may laugh at dumb jokes, but I'm not stupid.
  
  
  
  my only attempt to take a picture of the kids without any help
  
  

Pssssst! Psssssst! It's time to wake up! I think you drooled in your keyboard. That's gotta be bad. Sorry about that. Back to your lives, citizens! (Name that movie.)