I don't like to stand in long lines. And I especially don't like to stand in long lines with kids. Hence I avoid free-days, family-days, and any other crowded place like the plague. (The plague is really dangerous, you know. Don't believe all that jazz about rats and fleas. Really, you should just avoid people all together. Be a hermit.) But when my friend Bekah told me that all the Days of '47 parade floats would all be on display for free at the Sandy Expo, we gave in and went with her.
So there we were, standing in line for free face painting. We get to the front and Seara tells her painter, "I want pink glasses with a heart in the middle." Simple enough. Enoch wants an owl. Not too bad. And then Elijah steps up. And he says something completely unexpected. Bizarre. Outlandish.
"I want a dung beetle."
The girl looks at him. Then at me. Then at him. Then at me. I was completely bewildered. Finally she says, "Um, I don't know what one looks like, why don't you wait for [pointing] that lady. She'll probably know what to do." So we waited for the lady. She smiled big and knew exactly what to do. ("Well, dung beetles are black, but that will be hard to show any details, can I do it green?")
When Elijah saw his face, he was THRILLED. He walked around showing his beetle to everyone. He loved it. That is, until an hour later when Seara asked him, "Elijah, is that poop on your face?" It was like he just in that instant realized what a dung beetle was. His face contorted into confusion, disgust, and then embarrassment. And I, being a feeling mama, quickly jumped in to save my poor boy. "No, it's not poop! It's dung. You know, cuz it's a dung beetle." Relief wiped over Elijah's face, and he turned to Seara with a great big smile. "It's dung.
And she took that as an answer. Bless her heart.
10 comments:
That is seriously awesome.
We went too. I just said no. And we ran around in the lobby and everyone forgot. I love my kids.
That is hilarious. I LOVE it!
Okay, this makes me nervous. As a mother of her first boy, I would have thought that was what the boy wanted on his face. Aren't boys supposed to think poop on their face is cool?? I would have told sister, "of course it's poop; isn't that disgusting?!" thinking that is the reaction he would want (not to mention my real reaction). I'm SO confused and I would have totally failed that mother moment.
That is the best story! Your kids are awesome. Seriously, I was laughing for about 5 minutes...I think there may have been a snort in there.
By the way, nice save. :)
I laughed right out loud! That is soooo funny! Kids say the darndest things....but YOUR kids say the dardest-est things. You guys crack me up. I mean how can you have a bad day when you've got great things like that to think back on. I don't care how mad I was...I couldn't help but at least crack a smile if I thought about this story. What a hoot!!!
Lyndi - You crack me up! I hope you have a few great failed moments. They make for great stories.
Krishele - It's moments like these that make the rest completely worth it! :)
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! What kid thinks to have a dung beetle on his face?! And not understanding that it's poop makes it just that much funnier. I bet the painter lady remembers him for awhile!
Kelli - Oh, I'm sure she does! She was pretty amused by the whole thing - I think it was her first time drawing 'dung' on someone's face!
I guess it's like they say, "One man's dung is another man's poopourri." I'm not sure what that even means, but it's funny.
Anyway, that beetle looks amazing. I especially like the sparkles.
And I guess if you were really trying hard you might be able to make a case for it being some kind of leprechaun?
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