panorama of my parent's backyard view - click to enlarge
The first time I remember encountering the, "Where are you from?" question was as a freshman at BYU. At first I always answered "Utah," just for simplicity's sake. I had moved quite a bit and generally didn't feel like explaining all that to strangers. Plus, I had spent about 8 years living in Utah, and my parents lived here, so it made sense.
I quickly discovered something: when I said I was from Utah a lot of people started making automatic assumptions about me. Like that I was naive. That I didn't know much about the world. That I had no experience with cultural, racial, and religious diversity. And that upset me. I felt certain that I had had significantly more cultural, racial, and religious experiences than many of them had! After all, I spent half my life in South America and the Caribbean. I lived in five different countries growing up; three were Hispanic, one Afro-Latino. I attended a Catholic private school for two years. And my two best friends in elementary school were an orthodox Jew from Israel and a devout Hindu from India.
But the assumptions bothered me, and eventually I just stopped admitting that I was from Utah. I became embarrassed by it. For six years. Then we moved to Maryland.
Suddenly I was on the outside looking in again. And I realized something: people are people. They are essentially the same wherever you go. Most 'Utah Mormon' complaints are foibles of human nature, not Utahns or Mormons. The same human dynamics happen in Utah as happen everywhere else in the world. Sure, some people in Utah are innocent and perhaps naive because of their religiosity, but you find the same thing among Catholics, Baptists, Evangelicals, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, or whatever religion. And I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing! Sure, there are some quirks in Utah that crack me up. (Like why so many women dye their hair platinum blond. Not bad, just interesting.) The thing is, every place in the world has some strange quirks. I mean, according to the CDC Baltimore is the STD capital of the US. How not cool is that? Honestly. And I love Baltimore.
So you know what? I love Utah. I may raise my family here. I may not. But I'd be happy either way.
16 comments:
I get to answer the "Where are you from?" question a lot down here in Las Vegas. Mostly because there are so few people who were born, raised and still live in Vegas. Just recently, someone told me that if you've lived in Vegas for 10 years then you're considered a native. I'm almost there (6 years). I don't know if I'll be here in 4 years, but if I make it maybe I'll change where I'm from. :)
I know what you mean about not knowing what to say when they ask where you are from. "Utah" is the easy answer. Sometimes I take that route and sometimes I don't. Depends on my mood. :) But when we moved to Pittsburgh, I was from Buffalo. And when we first moved here to Nebraska, I was from Pittsburgh. Now I'm back to "well, I grew up in South America and the Caribbean, and then moved to Utah when I was about 12." Or just "Utah" when I'm feeling lazy. :)
ps I just read a book that talked about how Baltimore is the STD capital of the US. And I thought of you. :)
I'm sometimes embarrassed to admit I'm from Virginia because I don't want people to think I'm some southern hick. So I say I'm from D.C. If they ask for further clarification, I say NORTHERN Virginia. I would never just say I'm from Virginia. But maybe I'll grow out of that too...
I say "Northern Arizona". Or "by Flagstaff". Mostly just because not too many people have ever heard of Winslow. But if I'm feeling really talkative, I'll talk about "Takin' It Easy" and "Standin' on a Corner in Winslow, Arizona".
I understand the "from Utah" thing perfectly! I spent a year in the UK, but mostly, I'm just from Utah. However, I've gotten better about not taking the remarks about it personally.
Hey Joseph & I were listening to a book last week (The Tipping Point) that talked about the Syphilis epidemic in Baltimore! ;)
Paige - ha, ha! That's the book Cara (in the comment above) was referring to! Sam's read the book, too. Apparently it's popular. I guess I should hit it too. :)
Yes, I can say that I am from Utah. Born and raised. I lived there and only there for 25 years. I'll admit, yes, I was naive, I still am to a point. But everyone is naive in something or another. I can't say that I'm too ashamed of being naive about how it feels to have a hangover and wake up in some guys apartment after a one night stand and not remember where I am or who the guy is.
I'm sure anyone can find a way to make fun of anyone else from anywhere if they tried hard enough. The reason Utah is such an easy target is you're not too likely to get a big shiner from some guy in a bar with tatoos all over because you make fun of the Mormons...and we're not to likely to come after you given their religious dogma and all.
But seriously, even being from Utah and being somewhat naive in the "ways of the world," I have a lot of background and experience in the world of hard knocks that many others elsewhere don't have. Ultimately, I believe that everyone here has a reason to be here and be from where they are from and that gives each person a uniqueness that the world would suffer without.
Now I live in Idaho which isn't too far from the U-tard stigma, but I love it here! Call me naive all you want, but I'm happy and that's a lot more that most of the world can say. Wouldn't you say so?
yeah sorry about the typos. I meant we're not likely to come after you give OUR religious dogmas and all.
and that's a lot more THAN most of the world could say.
Sheesh...here I am talking about being naive and I can't even use correct grammar. Case in point, I guess.
I will be the first to admit that I am very naive. I don't know more than the basics of other religions, and I have no cultural experience at all, unless you count 2nd graders. But I guess I am okay with that. I want everyone to know I am Mormon, so they can believe what they want after that. I have lived in 3 states though, does that make me cultured? :)
Utah is beautiful... love the picture at the top. I must admit that I have no desire to move to Utah. Love to visit though.
I like the AZ ratio of Mormons. Enough so you can have some Mormon friends and dates but you also get to know many good and bad people that aren't Mormons. I really learned to stand up for my beliefs and realize Mormons don't have a monopoly on being good people. I don't think you qualify as the typical Utah person because you have lived so many other places. I know I shouldn't make generalizations about Utah but almost everyone does it. Like saying Arizona is all desert. Hopefully I didn't offend you by sharing some of the Utah stereotyping. I do totally understand not wanting to be judged based on where you live.
I usually say "I'm from near Sedona." Because no one has heard of Cornville and if you say Cornville everyone makes fun of you! But "near Sedona" in no way tells you what Cornville is like- except for the weather we're like the anti-Sedona!
Man I miss the mountains!! Seeing that picture made me nostalgic.
The only place I have to answer the "where are you from question" is at work. At luckily there is a heavy constiuent of BYUers here that have earned a good reputation, so UT is seen as a great place!
Tash hated living in UT while we were there. . . she had a list of stuff that bugged her (and in all honesty towards the end, I also had list of stuff in (cr)happy valley that bugged me as well); but now that we live elsewhere she is always commenting on how much she misses it. :)
Half of our ward is from Utah. And if you don't have a southern accent, people assume you are also. It's funny.
I'd live in Utah. Yes, there are limitations and concerns. But there are FAR WORSE places to live.
I think every public school in Utah is better than the best school here. Poverty is a huge issue in the south, which brings with it a whole host of problems.
"I love Utah. I may raise my family here. I may not. But I'd be happy either way. "
word. I feel the same.
love this post.
I say "New York." Even when I'm traveling with Lissa and someone asks where we are from. I say, "She's from Utah, and I'm from New York." Once my dad made the mistake of introducing me as being "from Utah" in church (I have lived in Utah for the last 7 years). He'll never make that mistake again...
Oh, and dying your hair platinum is a bad thing, as is wearing it big and bumpy - Utah style.
I've been waiting for this post, and it's a good one. Being from Idaho, I don't quite get the same generalizations that Utah does (we're more known for our white trash potato growers). However, having lived in Utah while going to school (and making fun of it a little), I grew to really love it there. I miss those mountains and I miss the biking trail in Provo that goes up the canyon. So beautiful. I do not miss the traffic, but you get that in any big city.
Great post. Utah and Utahns are great! (I married one so I should know).
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