I love bowling.
I love putting on my bowling shoes and parading around like we're having a goofy shoe fashion show. I love picking my ball, preferably a bright colored one with crazy swirls. I love choosing a screen name - things like Amazon Woman, Nunchuk Queen, and Storm Crusher. I love twirling around in those fun, rounded chairs while I wait for my turn. And I love finding new and unique ways to bowl, like between the legs, left-handed, backwards, upside down, and soccer style.
Why, you ask, do I make bowling such clown sport? Well, because I'm ROTTEN at it.
The first time I bowled after my mission I was with a boy who didn't find my antics amusing, so I toned it down and played seriously. I tried hard. I really did. But I still bowled a 56.
The next time I went was on a date with my older sister's high school crush. I was on a quest to impress. Not because I liked the kid, but because my sister was an angel and I didn't want to give her a bad name. So, in mature adult style, I warned the boy and all his friends that I really enjoyed bowling but I wasn't good, so they shouldn't feel bad about my rotten score because I'd still have fun. Once they were adequately warned, we started the game. When my turn came I decided to try bowling over-handed (instead of the traditional underhanded throw). I picked up the ball, took up a professional stance, walked, swung, and threw the ball. Then I turned around and walked back, refusing to watch my ball hit the gutter five feet in. Suddenly everyone screamed and cheered. I twirled around to look back at the ball, but it was gone. Oddly enough, so were the pins. Holy cow, I just got a strike! Well, that was odd. Beginner's luck, I assured everyone. Five turns and one turkey later, I was in shock. When I ended the game with eight strikes and a score of 185, I was certain that I had struck gold. I had found the key to successful bowling! I was on my way to having my name written on one of those 'Top Score' boards!
The next time I went bowling I was ready to rock the world. No apologies for amusing antics, no preparing people for my pitiful score. I marched in, ready to impress, excited to show off my stuff.
And I bowled a 56.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
the Expert Bowler
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14 comments:
I'm quite a fickle bowler as well. Actually, I'm bad. I avoid bowling at all costs, but maybe I should try your strategy at making it fun...
i LOVE it.
My grandpa always said the problem was that his golf and bowling scores were backwards.
This post was so cute! I loved each of the ancedotes! I am a pretty bad bowler myself. I should try some of those fun things. I love that you still love bowling even though you're not good at it. I find that hard to do sometimes... hence why I don't like most sports. Most people are just too competitive and it makes it hard for us uncoordinated people to have fun. I like individual sports thank you. That's amazing you had one magical bowling night. The stars must have aligned or something!
Erin - Oh, I so agree about competitive people! I'm just not like that. Even in board games, I'd rather relax and laugh than worry about everyone getting in a tizzy about winning. I'm lenient on rules, too, which makes competitive people hate me! Oops! :)
Well, coming from a family of in-laws that have all been on bowling leagues for decades...I didn't realize how really bad I am. But I do have fun! :)
Gotta add, Barry almost chose professional bowling instead of dentistry. True story. I'm glad he went with dentistry.
LOVED your post. Made me laugh out loud. I'm a big bowling fan. My parents have a bowling alley, and so my mom and dad have gotten really good. They smoke us when we play them! Sad to say, my whole family is super competitive in EVERYTHING we do. It's crazy!!! I think I should try your overhanded style sometime. Might work out for me!
I like to bowl too. I even took a class in college in hopes my score would improve...it didn't help, but I did have one game where I bowled a 198. I'm not sure what happened because my usual score is about 100. Oh well, I always have fun.
Cara - nu-uh. He did not almost choose professional bowling. Are you serious?? How did I not know that?! So hilarious! I'm glad he chose to be a dentist, too. :)
God is keeping you humble. Which is hard to do when you're you and perfect in every way except perhaps bowling. :)
I love bowling too! I also stink at it, but something about it is just so fun!
Haha! Isn't that just the way of things. Sometimes things just align in the universe. Unfortunately, I'm usually on the non-universe aligning end of things. 56 is a really familiar number for me in bowling. I'm glad you don't feel bad about it either! Bowling is too fun to be put out by a low score.
And Janae- I love bending the rules too! What fun are games if you have to follow every single stinkin' rule? heehee!
:D HAHAHahha that's so me! I do all the crazy things, too, because I've got to enjoy bowling somehow! I had a lucky time once, too, when I had some really high score (I mean, 116...not quite your score, but I'm still proud). But never since then.
Glad to know someone else shares my bowling style.
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