The good news is that I am officially Canadian! Woohoo, eh! I can finally start teaching my children to say 'zed' rather than 'z'. My mom's family was originally from Canada, and she was born there (although she spend nearly her entire life in California), so I pretty much got in riding on her shirt tails. I plan on using my Canadian passport whenever I travel to countries that hate the US. :)
The bad news is that my picture on my official stuff is hideous. You know, where your first thought is, "WHOA. I am NEVER letting ANYONE see that!" And your second thought is, "That means it is hilarious and I've gotta show everyone!" There are two major problems. First, I was on my mission when the consulate requested the pictures (yeah, it took em a while) so I had a fat face. Second, my eyebrows look like they had a whack job done on them. I'll admit that I've made the mistake of plucking my eyebrows too far apart*, but this one wasn't my fault. I had my eyebrows waxed right before the picture and the lady butchered them. My eyes look so far apart that I'm practically 1/8 fish.
(In case you were worried, by the time I was married I figure the eyebrow thing out. Thank heavens. I don't think I could have nabbed a guy with that fatty fish face. This is much better:)
*Why didn't anyone teach me the rules about eyebrows?!! If you don't know what they are, learn them here. You have to click on 'Begin Shaping!' in the pink bar for the tutorial. Its only 30 seconds and it's wonderful. I'm making Seara watch it as soon as she starts plucking.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Ugly Canadian
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17 comments:
yes...those are, uh... cute little eyebrows you had there...
wow - so funny.
Whoa. That's pretty bad!
In all of my "official" pictures I look like I have a mullet, because my long earlobes cast a dark shadow behind me that has the same color as my hair. It's terrible.
Sam - I like the earlobe thing. It makes me feel better about my fatty fish face.
ps. You really think it's pretty bad??
ay hoser! You'll be sure to get razed about that one the next time Jason sees you. He's got this thing about Canada given the US imports a bunch of their produce here and floods the market which drives prices down...blah blah. Big deal for a farmer's son. Anyway, so the first time I actually did the pluck thing was the weekend I came up to Idaho to meet Jason for the 2nd time(but it might as well have been the first given how well it went the time before.). Nicole insisted, her being a cosmetologist and all, that I do it. My sad cry was, "Can't I just want someone to love me for the way I am??" Obviously since she went ahead and plucked away, you can guess her answer to that. They weren't terribly bushy, but I really am glad that she got me started. Some eyebrows are just not sufficient to be left to their own boundaries.
By the way, that second picture is gorgeous...you're so pretty.
Krishele - Thanks! :) Obviously cameras lie - I don't believe I am nearly as ugly as the first picture, nor as flattering as the second.
HAH!!! I LOVE pictures like that! Of course, you have to hope for an understanding audience, otherwise they wonder "why is she showing me such an ugly picture of herself?" My best: one where I'm pregnant and wearing a robe that makes me look like a character from the Far Side. With my grandma's chicken legs. Yay!!! It makes me laugh so hard every time.
If that's your fatty face...psh, whatever. But yeah, the eyebrows. Whoa. And not just because I'm a beauty consultant. Whoa anyway. (But take comfort: it took me long enough to discover the secrets of plucking).
And you're really beautiful, so even with those eyebrows, people would have gladly opened their doors to hear the gospel from you, I'm sure. ;)
You really got a Canadian passport, even though you've never lived there? I didn't know you could do that. Matt's mom's side is from Canada. We we first met he say "baag" you know with the weird "a" sound. I thought it was so cute, but he stopped because I made such a big deal about it.
What a good sport to show us your bad eyebrow pictures. There are some pictures I wish didn't exist of me. I should destroy them so my descendents only get to see the pretty ones and think I was beautiful.
Erin - The reason they took so long is because of some confusion with the laws. They just made some changes this last year (2009). So here's the deal: since my mom was born in Canada, and therefore by birth Canadian, all her children are automatically Canadian. But since I wasn't born there, my kids can't be Canadian unless (1) they move there and apply for citizenship like any old Joe, or (2) I move to Canada and birth children there (and only the children born there will be Canadian). So all this is to say, if Matt's mom was born in Canada, he can be Canadian too. :)
Pretty sure those are the funniest eyebrows I've ever seen. THANK you for the laugh. (And I totally show everyone hideous pictures of myself all the time. Even when I simultaneously swear I won't.)
And I think I might have to check out the tutorial. I have no idea what I'm doing to my eyebrows, but I'm sure it's wrong.
Okay, I loved Kelli's comment. :) If I didn't know you, I think I would have a hard time believing those two pictures were the same person. :) But eyebrows are what made the huge difference in Susan Boyle also. It's amazing what good (or bad) eyebrows can do.
baaaah! i want to be a canadian citizen too. you'll have to tell me how i go about this...since i'm half canadian too. i love their 100 calorie cadbury bars and over the counter codine and pink eye prescriptions. i've been there three times in the last three years, and thinking i should go again this year.
i just watched the tutorial. i want wow brows. lately i've just been hoping my bangs hide them.
and i knew you looking like that, and your brows didn't look that bad. you just look even sexier now. whoot whoot!
Is the Canadian thing new? (sorry if you already answered that question, I didn't read all the other comments.) I did, however, go pluck my eyebrows!
Jodi - Do you mean new as in it just happened? Yes. In late December, I think. Even though my mom is Canadian, we still had to apply for citizenship under her. And it took about seven years for that all to work out. Phew!
So you're Canadian, eh? Dual citizenship?
Jodi - Yeah, I have dual citizenship. My younger brother Ryan was born in Ecuador, so he has triple citizenship, lucky duck!
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