Blog Stalking

blog stalk \blo'g sto'k or bläg sto'k\, verb:
1 to religiously check a blog for any new content, usually multiple times per day
2 to secretly read someone's blog with the express purpose of learning more about them without their knowledge; to stalk via blog

I solved my problem with definition 1 when I discovered Google Reader. I generally don't have a problem with definition 2. Generally. As in I only stalk one person.

Let me introduce you to my blog stalkee:

Brooke

Brooke is my older sister's friend, so I'm not as crazy as I sound. But she doesn't know who I am, and she doesn't know that I know so many intimate details about her life. I don't stalk her blog because I'm a psycho, though!! I stalk her for three reasons:

(1) She does cute things like put an accent in her name, surround her name by these things {} (What are those called? Does anyone know?), and describe herself in her blog profile with just one sentence: "I am flippant." Don't you just love her?? I guess if I copy her now everyone will know it and not credit me with such ingenious ideas. Blast. I guess this will help my honesty kick. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all.

(2) She is me. Only she doesn't know it. But check this out. I read those first five sentences and thought, "Oh my gosh, I wrote that!!"

(3) She is hilarious to a degree that I can only dream of! This is my all-time favorite post of hers. But this one is a close second.

I think my stalking just reached an all-new, unhealthy level. As in I'm posting a tribute to my stalkee. I just might need therapy.

So what inspired this tribute to Brooke? My cousin Devin's wife, Allie. She did one of those tag things, and she tagged me. And I wanted revenge, so I needed to tag her back. So today Brooke did one of those tag things. I've seen this one recently and it cracked me up, and unfortunately my kids are too little to do it for me. BUT ALLIE'S AREN'T!! So, Allie (and Lyndi, and Asialene, and Cara, and anyone else with kids who can speak full intelligible sentences on a regular basis):

TAG! YOU'RE IT!!

Here's what you do: Go to Brooke's blog post. Copy the list of questions and ask them to your kids. Then share the answers.

ps. Allie, I'm just kidding. I don't really want revenge. I just want to know what your crack-up of kids will answer. :) Here is your tag.

Five Things on my To Do List
1. Buy new computer
2. Come up with a creative way to destroy stupid, slow, old computer
3. Film the destroying of said old computer
4. Make movie of destruction of old computer
5. Post film on blog to entertain the masses

Five Jobs I’ve Had
1. Janitor for the LDS church (There is a reason I hate vacuuming ... seven hours of vacuuming a day, five days a week, for an entire summer would convince anyone to never EVER vacuum again. BTW, the eighth hour was toilet time. I actually looked forward to that part after the vacuuming.)
2. Bagger at Macey's grocery store (aka professional flirt)
3. Secretary for BYU Catering (This is called being paid to do your homework. You can only organize the entire office so many times before you cave in and ask the boss if you can actually be productive.)
4. Spanish Teacher at the MTC (Unfortunately, I found that 19 year-old boys and I have similar senses of humor. I loved this job!!)
5. Mom (I may not be employed, but I sure as heck do WORK!)

Five Places I’ve Lived
1. San Juan, Puerto Rico
2. Cochabamba, Bolivia
3. Sandy, Utah
4. Porto, Portugal
5. Baltimore, Maryland

Five Favorite Snacks
1. Granny Smith apples with cheese or peanut butter
2. Chocolate milk
3. Spoonfuls of brown sugar (hey, remember, I'm working on honesty here)
4. Vanilla yogurt
5. Pears with cottage cheese

Five Things I would do if I were a Billionaire
1. Build a tree-house getaway like they have on that old Disney Swiss Family Robinson movie
2. Make one of those super-tall hedge mazes with lookout points in case you get lost
3. Build a tall building, put all my money in coins, fill the building with coins, and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck
4. Go to the moon
5. Build a house that is full of secret passageways

Five Things You May Not Know about Me
1. I have a small gap between my front teeth that I edit out in all my pictures. (I lost my retainer on my mission, so I didn't have the gap before then. Okay, I didn't have it from the time I was 13 until I was 20. But I'm not going to resurrect with a gap, so I'm pretending it never happened. One day I'll be rich enough to go to an orthodontist and get it fixed. Again.)
2. I really, really, really want to learn French.
3. My two dreams in life are to walk on The Great Wall of China and to go on an African Safari. (Both of which were done recently by people I love - Davis & Asialene walked on the Great Wall and Bart & Rebecca went on a Safari. Jerks.)
4. I have Finding Nemo memorized. As in the entire movie. Word for word. (And not because it's Seara's or Elijah's favorite movie. Its mine.)
5. My name is Janae Ricks, and I'm a recovering Spider Solitaire addict. I have been clean now for one week. (I deleted the game off my computer. Enough was enough.)

Five Things I Love
1. Trees
2. Traveling
3. Talking to people
4. Swimming
5. Blogging