Birth Details - for those who care

Most people won't really care to know the details, but some do, so this post is for you. I have to preface this with some explanations.

First, I love drugs. I planned on getting an epidural with Seara, and after going through an intensely painful labor just to progress from 3 cm to 4 cm, I was pretty sure I loved the anesthesiologist more than I loved Samuel. It was like repentance - from the most extremely intense pain to absolute relief and joy. I was a HUGE fan. And truthfully, I thought people who actually wanted to have a baby naturally were not just admirable, but also slightly insane. Then I had Elijah and didn't get the epidural until I was dilated to 9 cm (not by choice, I wanted it when I checked in the hospital at 7 cm, but we had some complications to overcome first). That was really hard, but I did it. And I was curious. As the memory of labor wore off, I got this idea that I wanted to have this third baby naturally. Why? The answer is pure and simple: curiosity. I wanted to know what it felt like, and I wanted to know if I could do it. I wasn't dead set, but I was pretty sure I wanted to do it without any drugs.

Second, you need to know that in my family our water sacks are made of teflon. For real. They just don't break of their own. My mom had eight kids and had to have her water broken every single time. I followed suit. With both Sease and Lije the doctor/midwife broke my water after I had the epidural.

Lastly, you need to know that I have prided myself on being a quiet laborer. Even as far as I got with Lije, I was nearly dead silent. Maybe a soft moan here and there, but never, ever grunting, groaning, yelling, etc. Not that I was necessarily judging those who were loud. I was just embarrassed for them that they would humiliate themselves like that. I was so proud of being so 'dignified' in labor.

Okay, now on to my delivery. On Monday morning I went to the midwife and found out I was dilated to 5 cm - but no sign of labor. (I love, love, love midwives, by the way. I used one with Lije, too. I still do hospital, epidural, etc. deliveries. And the midwife always has a supervising obstetrician in case a problem arises. But with Seara I had crowned and waited 45 minutes to push because the OB hadn't arrived yet. With Elijah the midwife arrived just after I checked in and spent my entire labor taking care of me - pushing for the epidural, massaging my feet, etc. It was a dramatically different - and wonderful - situation.) Okay, so I'm dilated to 5 cm and not in labor. I went home. And felt depressed.

At about 6:00pm I started having some cramping-like contractions. They hurt, but weren't debilitating in any way. I was aware of them, but not about to get my hopes up. So I just went on with life. At 8:30pm they suddenly - and dramatically - took a turn for worse. It was like someone flipped a switch. I went from being a little crampy, but just fine, to being in intense pain. I wanted to go to the hospital - RIGHT THEN. I thought Samuel would be home by then, but hadn't seen or heard from him. I waited a bit, then at 8:50pm called him. I announced that I needed to go to the hospital - and that I was absolutely CRAZY for thinking that I wanted to do this thing naturally. One hard contraction was enough to remind me that I had absolutely NO desire to know what full-fledged labor was like. Unfortunately, Samuel was still at school in Baltimore. He hopped in the car and broke probably every single law on the way home. By the time he got home at 9:20 I was writhing in pain and my mom was ready to call 911 to get an ambulance. I actually met him in the parking lot, and we rushed to the hospital. And I mean RUSHED. Forgive all the crazy drivers you encounter. You really never know if their wives are in full-fledged labor.

We got to the hospital at 9:41 pm. Because the valet parking service was closed by then, Samuel dropped me off at the front entrance. Unfortunately, the hospital was under construction and the entrance had been temporarily moved. Luckily the security guard office was right there. The men took one look at me, let me in, and dropped me in a wheelchair. The guard who took me to labor and delivery was 18 years old, and had only worked at the hospital for one week. I think I may have traumatized him for life. He pushed me and RAN to the elevators. An elevator door was closing just then, but this darling Catholic priest stuck his arm through the entrance just as it closed. It crunched his arm pretty good, but the door opened back up. God bless that priest. Once on the floor, the guard resumed his running. We got to labor and delivery, and every single nurse there came running. Within a minute I was wearing a hospital gown, laying in a bed, and having penicillin and IV fluids pumped into me. (The penicillin because I am beta-strep positive and I am supposed to get two doses of penicillin four hours apart while in labor, but prior to delivery, to ensure the baby doesn't get strep. The IV fluids because I needed at least one bag of fluid before I could get the epidural.) The nurse tried to see how far I was dilated, but couldn't tell because all she could feel was a bulging water bag.

The next twenty minutes were the longest twenty minutes of my life. I have never felt anything like that. Just writing about it makes me want to cry! Who knew how much pain a person could feel? The whole situation makes me feel extremely grateful for the Savior. How he survived the Garden of Gethsemane is absolutely incomprehensible to me. Anyway. I was in such intense pain that I was hyperventilating and my arms, face, and upper torso were going completely numb. Because my hands were cramping up, I was slowing the IV fluids. The midwife was there and she was AMAZING. She knew exactly what to say and do to keep me from going absolutely insane. Well, I soon figured out how to stop the hyperventilating. I screamed. And loud. It must have been bad because one of the nurses told me to stop screaming. I could have slapped her. The midwife was a lot nicer about it. She just said, "Okay, on this next contraction let's focus all that energy from screaming on pushing." Good idea. I didn't want anything more in the world than to push. (Well, except to die. I would have gladly taken that option.) The IV fluids were just finishing. The anesthesiologist wasn't going to make it in time.

Push one: my water broke. You will never know what a relief that was! In once instant all the pain and contractions were gone. I always heard that contractions get worse after your water breaks. Well, apparently not if you are fully dilated and the baby is on its way out. After the baby was born the midwife, nurses, and Samuel all kept commenting on how in control and calm I was about pushing. Well, no wonder I was. It didn't really hurt that much any more! Okay, yeah, I had the ring of fire thing (which feels exactly like that) and I felt like I was trying to push a train out of my body, but nothing could compare to those contractions.

Push two: the baby crowns.

Push three: not much happens. It was a wimpy push. I should have rested a bit after push two.

Push four: the midwife pulls the head out. What a relief!!! I feel relatively good, so I'm watching the whole thing (from my point of view and with the mirror they have set up so I can watch). That gave me a lot of stamina for pushing, I tell you what. It is very real when you actually watch.

Push five: the baby comes out!! (It is 10:03 - twenty two minutes since I arrived at the hospital. Its a really good thing my water didn't break earlier and that Samuel sped. We might have a had a highway birth!) The midwife announces that its a boy (I was floored!) and hands him to me (umbilical chord attached and all). The emotions you feel after delivering a baby completely naturally are absolutely amazing. Like nothing I have ever felt before, even having had two children. It is a combination of euphoria, relief, empowerment, ecstasy, elation, and peace. Wow. All the pain is drowned by emotion. It is absolutely amazing.

I got the baby for an hour and half before they whisked him off to be bathed and moved me over to mother baby. By midnight I was drugged up on Ambien, cuddling with my baby, and fast asleep.

So there you go. I gave birth naturally, broke my own water while pushing, and screamed like a banshee. But I survived. Would I do it naturally again? Never. I wouldn't mind pushing, I would love to feel the euphoria afterwards, but I never, ever, ever, ever, ever want to feel a contraction. Ever again. Next time I'm getting induced and having the epidural way before I feel any pain. :)

Just to add a visual, here are the post-birth pictures of Seara and Elijah:


Not the best pictures, but I don't look too bad. A bit tired, but pretty good. Now check this one out:

I love this picture. I look like I've just been through the most traumatizing experience (I just had) and I'm trying to look all beautiful like nothing has happened. What a completely fake smile. Lol!

By the way, recovery after natural birth really is so much faster than after an epidural. They took the IV out right after the baby was born, and since I didn't tear or have an episiotomy, I didn't have to get checked a thousand times at night. Plus, I could walk around right after the baby was born, and was able to get up and shower and get all ready with no trouble the next morning. I'm a big fan of that part of natural childbirth. Too bad it hurts so dang bad.