Don't ask me how I got there, but MormonTimes is having this thing called a Blogging Brawl, right? So I think "Hmmm ... could be interesting" and I click on a link. Well, it turns out that all the bloggers are single 20-somethings. And all they blog about is dating. I know, I know, when you are a single 20-something, dating is pretty much all you think about. But honestly? Is there not anything else interesting happening in your life? I read my single 20-somethings cousins' blogs and they actually do cool things like go to the Holi festival at the Krishna Temple and rappel off apartment complexes.
But I digress. The truth is, if I had blogged back in the day, I surely would have written about my own dating fiascoes. Or at least I would have wanted to. Actually, I probably wouldn't have for fear that somehow the guy would find my blog and read about himself and feel hurt. I know this because I've been out of the dating scene for six years and I'm STILL scared to write about dating JUST IN CASE Joe-schmoe reads this. Because obviously a married mother of three who puts on a pound a month, loathes makeup in all forms, and only ever wears her hair in ponies is SUPER ATTRACTIVE and Joe-schmoe continues to follow my life. My logic is so sound. [Did you sense the sarcasm?]
I digress again. This whole thing just made me think about breaking up. Prior to my mission, breaking up was a win-or-lose game. If I do the breaking up, I win. If someone breaks up with me, I lose. Hence our conversations often went like this ...
Random Guy: I think we should break up.
Janae: I've been thinking the same thing! I think we should just be friends.
Random Guy: [in relief] Me too!
BIG FAT LIAR. I thought no such thing. I just wanted to save face. Then there was that one time a guy gave me the ever-so-common "we need to talk," and I thought he was going to break up with me, so I jumped the gun and broke up with him first. Turns out he wanted to talk about something else. Oops.
But then I served a mission. Heaven knows that when you get rejected two dozen times a day, you really start appreciating people who are straightforward. I decided to follow this same philosophy in dating.
So, Joe-schmoe, I just want to apologize for telling you straight-up at the end of our first (and only) date that I had zero interest in having any relationship, beyond cordiality, with you. I probably could have been at least a little more subtle. Really, I'm sorry.
13 comments:
That's a touchy subject for sure. I guess it depends on the guy, but personally, I'm up for the straight forward approach. You don't want to be wasting his time and money and you don't want him wasting yours. Harsh, I know, but it's the stone cold truth. Why drag out the misery?
I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Just so you know. :)
WAIT!!! Who was the one who wanted to talk about something else that you preemptively broke up with...not that it didn't work out in the end (obviously). Was I there for that you? If I was, was it one that I liked? And you cannot be gaining a pound a month...no way
Caroline - I think you were there, it happened in the Elms. Maybe it happened just after you moved? It was Matt Turley. The first time we broke up. We got back together a month later, then broke up again a week after that. And I am definitely gaining a pound a month. I'm up 12 since we got here. I keep thinking I should eat less or exercise, but I don't. :)
I used that last tactic on Scott after our first date. "I'm just not interested in dating you, but we can still be friends." Anyway, a month later I realized I made a mistake, we went out again, and then we were engaged the next month. Ahhh, so glad I'm not single anymore, those were rough days!
Lindsey - Amen, sista. Amen.
I'm all for the straightforward approach. In fact, I can remember times when I couldn't wait to get to that part. Halfway through the date often ended up being too long. Besides, some guys just don't get the hints.
I remember him. He was cool (but kind of hairy...HA!!! (the one at the swimming pool!) So, yes, i was there for that.
Haha, well, honesty should be the best policy, right? I was almost always the breaker-upper, halfway because I was bored with them, but half way because I felt him losing interest. Well played, Janae.
Ha ha, that's pretty good Janae. So yesterday was our anniversary and I was reading in my journal about when we announced we were engaged at ward prayer and you and the guys had smuggled rice down and threw it at us. Fun memories :) By the way, have you read Hunger Games? I'm trying to decide whether I would like it or not...
Whew! I thought you were going to tell us that you were breaking up with Sam! Glad it was just some stories.
ahhahahha...that's awesome.
I learned the straightforwardness the hard way, and I ended up probably scaring lots of guys with my blatant honesty.
Especially one guy...poor um, John-Schmon.
Jessica - I'll email you.
Jodi - NEVER. We're in it for eternity. Nothings gonna break this one apart!
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