Potty Training

I have wanted to potty train Seara for over a year now. But, for fear of jumping the gun, I waiting until this morning. In preparation for this day, I have read about five books on potty training. In fact, I read the book my mom & sis-in-law recommended three times. We've been prepping Seara all summer with all sorts of tricks, too. She is 27 months old. She is dry after naps. She stays dry all night. She gives signs when she is about to go to the bathroom. She immediately requests a diaper change when she uses the bathroom. She can put her potty seat on the toilet, climb up, and sit on it. She can pull her pants up and down. She can get toilet paper and flush the toilet. Heck, I've even been praying about this. So this morning I made sure to have Seara alone with me for the first six hours of the day. At breakfast and afterwards we filled her with drinks of all types, to make sure we'd get plenty of chances to practice.

When Seara refused to pull her undies up or down, I should have taken it as a bad omen. She can do it, but she hates being told what to do. Parenting books have a whole sequence of things to do when kids won't obey. You are supposed to get on their level, face them so that they are looking you in the eye, say "[Name], [direct command]," give them five seconds to complete the command, if they don't do it in five second, gently guide them manually. Okay, so I get down to Seara's level, but she refuses to face me. So I hold her face gently in my hands. But then she looks far to the left or right, so she doesn't have look at me. So I move my face around so she is finally looking at me. I say, "Seara, pull your pants up." She (obviously) does nothing, so I try to gently guide her to bend down, but her entire body goes stiff as a board. I manage to get her to bend over (while she fights me violently), but then she won't grab her undies. So I gently guide her hands to her undies, but she refuses to grab them. So I grab them with the extra fingers that aren't holding her hands, and "we" pull them up. I don't think that is how the procedure is supposed to work.

It only got worse from there. In the first thirty minutes she drank 16 oz of juice and milk. (A serving size of liquid for an adult is 8 oz, for a child between 1-3 it is 2 oz. So her drinking that much is equivalent to me drinking 64 oz.) So I sat her on the toilet, right? She fussed for a bit, but then became resigned to her fate and played there quietly. And I sat there waiting for her to go, so I could immediately praise her. After about thirty minutes I could tell she needed to go. After sixty she was using every ounce of energy she had to hold it in. An hour and a half after sitting down on the toilet she finally let a little bit out. I immediately praised her and helped her get up and pull her panties up. ("Helped her" because as much as she wanted off the toilet, she wouldn't do it once I asked her to.) My plan was to go through the post-potty routine (wipe, pull pants up, wash hands, etc.), and then immediately go back to toilet so she could finish going. Well, the minute she was off the toilet, she let loose. I am so glad we don't have carpet in the bathroom. So I followed all the steps the books recommended on what to do when a child wets their pants. Seara screamed and fought every step of the way. No amount of cookies, chocolate milk, or candy could get her to obey me. If she doesn't want to do something, she won't do it. Period. So we got back on the toilet and waited a bit, but she didn't go, so I figured she'd gone enough for now and we'd put clean undies on and talk about the toilet some. Well, I got her off the toilet and put clean undies, just in time for her to pee everything that was left all over both herself and me. And one hour, fifty seven minutes in to potty training, I quit. So I put a diaper on her. And for the next ninety minutes she was completely dry. She told me when she had to poop, did it, and asked for a change. But will she go in the toilet? NOOOOO. Why? Because I want her to. Maybe I should want her to stay in diapers and insist she NOT go in the toilet. Ha.

You know how people say you should wait until the baby is "ready" to toilet train? Well, how much more ready can she be? Her problem isn't her capability. That would be resolved with time. Her probably is stubbornness. And she will certainly not become less stubborn. If anything, it will get worse as she gets older. So I have come up with three possible solutions:

1) From now on, Samuel does all potty training.
2) If Samuel refuses, one of the Grandmas does all potty training.
3) If they refuse, Seara will stay in a diaper until it becomes too embarrassing to date with diapers on.

I don't care what happens now. I officially quit.