A completely random picture of Duck Duck Goose. This has nothing to do with my post.
Apparently grocery stores are dangerous for me. I don't lie to my husband. I don't lie to my children. I don't lie to my friends or family. But I lie to perfect strangers at the grocery store.
Back in Maryland someone asked me how many kids I had. I had two then. But I blurted out, "Four." Frankly, even I was shocked when that came out. How on earth did that just come out of my mouth?! Then she asked their ages. What was I supposed to do? Confess my complete idiocy and tell her I actually had only two? No, instead I told her their ages. Seven, five, three, and one. Haha. Then I walked away.
Or how about the time someone asked me Seara's name and I said, "Sierra." And they got all excited because they had a granddaughter (or something like that) named Sierra and blah blah blah. How could I admit that I'm a total moron and that my daughter really wasn't named Sierra? I couldn't. So I just went along with it.
I guess that's a decent preface for the story I'm about to tell you.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010. I took the boys shopping at the grocery store. My intent was, as always, to avoid speaking with ANYBODY. My problems started right when we got there. Elijah and Enoch insisted we take the monster-sized car cart so they could "drive" it. I hate those carts. They are hard to maneuver empty, and practically impossible full. But, of course, we took it anyway. I always lose.
So there we were, making our way down the second to last aisle, our cart stuffed to overflowing. I was so large that the woman in front of me was struggling to squeeze past us, and I quickly apologized, "I'm so sorry! This cart is huge!" She brushed it off, explaining that she'd been there and I had no need to apologize. Then I became her best friend. She chatted at me for bit, then asked,
"How many gallons of milk do you have in there?"
"Um, nine."
"Wow! That's a lot of milk for one week!"
"Well, we have [I pause and visibly count on my fingers] eight people in the house, so it's basically a gallon a week per person. It's not too bad."
"Oh, you have six kids!"
And then, before I had much of a chance to interject, she started telling me about her eight kids, and how they used to live in Michigan, and the older ones had early morning seminary, and the ward had a carpool to take all the seminary kids to their three different schools, so she only had to drive for one week a month, but her husband traveled to Europe once or twice a month, so she had to wake up her babies at 6:30 am during her carpool week, etc, etc, etc. And all the while I'm trying to wrestle my boys back into the cart, and smile appreciatively at her story. [Ahhh! Get me out of here!]
She talked for a good ten minutes. And by that point it had been so long after her "six kids" comment that I couldn't really correct her any more. [I don't know this lady, she doesn't know me, I'm never gonna see her again. Yeah. I'm letting her believe that.]
But then suddenly, completely out of no where, she said, "Blah blah blah blah blah. How many boys and how many girls?"
[Oh great. I've got about .25 seconds to decide what to say. Do I correct her? I mean, do I look old enough to have six kids?? And she saw me count on my fingers! Does she honestly think I have to count to figure out how many kids I have?! Ahhh!!]
So I did the only polite thing I could think of doing. I lied. "Three boys and three girls."
I half smiled.
And then I escaped as quickly as possible.
14 comments:
No worries Janae, half the time I'm out running errands with all 4 boys, people assume my two oldest are twins... instead of explaining that they're actually 20 months apart and Noah's just small for 5 and Ian's just big for 3 I let them believe they're twins. Other times, I may be out with just the 3 oldest boys and people gawk at how many boys I have so close in age; they often say I must be crazy... instead of explaining I still have another 1 yr old boy back at home I just let them assume I'm crazy with just 3. I did laugh pretty hard though at you encounter with the lady who thinks you have 6 kids!!! Surely anybody in their right mind would accuse you for looking too young to have six kids!
Ashley and I totally understand.
Cara - [trying to gasp for breath from laughing so hard at your comment...] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I bet you and 'Ashley' completely understand! :)
um this is hilarious, thank you for sharing. perhaps a nice set of triplets is in your future...;)
He, he, he. But seriously, you so don't look old enough to have six kids!
Oh, and I missed your call. Did you need something?
Thanks for the laugh Janae! Funny Stuff.
i think the only thing I heard was 9 gallons of milk.a week.
I think that at some point ya'll need to look at the cost of just owning your own milk cow.
I agree with the previous comment. You should get a cow as a pet. And it's okay that you're a liar. I still love you:)
Natasha/Andy - Ha, ha! I didn't mention that there were also six half gallons of lactose free milk, although they have a longer shelf life so Sam only uses about a gallon a week. So make that 10 gallons. :) Hey, I drink chocolate milk for lunch. I go through a LOT!
Let's hope Shara didn't just jinx you! ;-)
I can understand how stuff like that slips out sometimes; especially when you aren't really given an opportunity to fully explain yourself. Happens to me sometimes too. Don't feel too bad!
Hey, wouldn't it be "funny" if you bumped into her again and she remembered you and then proceeded to ask you all about your 6 kids?
I think God gives us second (and for people like me, 3rd, 4th, +) chances to make amends.
At least in Utah or the mormon world it's normal to have more than 1 or 2 children. People think your totally nuts to even WANT more than that. Good thing we don't care what other people think, right!
I've totally been there (not with the 6 kids, but other stuff)!
In fact, when I go to restaurants or places like that and they ask for a name, I say Jodi or something short like that because I don't want to have to repeat my name two times and then spell it for them.
...it's just easier that way. chalk it up to convenience, I guess.
HaHaHaHaHaHaHa so funny, but, I think you will still be Thrust down to hell. He said liars will be thrust, not persuaded, not gently pushed, but Thrust. I don't think this excludes lying to complete strangers in the grocery store or anywhere else....oh how I worry for your soul. haha just kidding. I loved this story!
You definitely don't look old enough to have 6 kids, but that is so funny. I was laughing for quite a while on that one. Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment