Did you know that I have never - NEVER - bought new clothes for any of my own kids when they were babies? And not once have a wandered through a store with my own child in mind and bought the clothes that I love most. In fact, in Elijah's nearly three years of life I have bought him a total of two items. Both shirts. Both for family pictures. Which means there were specific perameters. Enoch tops Elijah at two shirts AND a pair of pants. Family pictures again. Seara has gotten three outfits (you guessed it - family pictures) and a set of onesies. That's it. Sure, I have had moments where I wished that I could choose what my kids wear. And you bet I have longed to buy a few new outfits when I first found out the gender of each of my darling baby bellies. But the truth is, mostly I feel really grateful that I have a sister with kids just older than mine who is supremely generous with her old clothing.
Want to know what else I haven't? I've never had a changing table. Or a chest of drawers. Or a saucer. Or a bouncer. Or a play mat. Or a walker. Or a swing. (Actually I did get an old swing from a friend once, but it broke after a couple weeks.)
All my infant car seats were hand-me-downs from friends. I've only ever used cheap umbrella strollers for my infants. My crib was $10 at a garage sale. I fished my rocking chair out of a trash pile, but the arm rests ended up being too high for my monkey arms so I rarely used it.
I've never decorated a nursery. I've never bought pictures, shelves, letters for a name, decorations, display toys, or blankets. I've never painted anything for my kids' room. There were just always more responsible ways to use the money.
But the weirdest thing of all is that I don't really mind. Do I wish that I would have waited a few years to have kids so that we could have afforded more? NO! Never! The truth is, the children don't know or care. The truth is, fancy things don't make a whit's worth of difference in how your child grows. The truth is, things don't make you happy. People do. And I have three little people that are worth every single sacrifice I've made - and so much more.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Things
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20 comments:
Janae, I am the same way. Completely.
Really, I feel so much more normal after reading that.
you are exactly right...things mean nothing and the kids don't know or care anyway. You really have your head screwed on straight. :)
Andy is the same way. I've always been quite spoiled as a kid and am used to getting what I wanted. So when Emmaline came along and I wasn't allowed to spend lots of money on buying her things, I felt like I had no purpose... dramatic, huh? :) I could only spend what we got in gift cards- the cash got put into a savings account- and I mostly bought things like diapers. We were lucky enough to have wonderful family members who bought her what she needed and when it came time to being in a house, we found a great deal on a crib (mattress included) and an old dresser that we refinished and it looks better than new and our friends even gave us a rocking chair! I even made her bumpers and crib skirt to offset more costs. Now that I look back at it, I'm so happy I didn't lay down $500 on a crib!
Beautiful, Janae!
All of our stuff was either major discount (like, consignment sales or going out of biz sales or scratch & dent sales) or FREE. I like FREE the best (hand-me-downs with clothes, furniture, & toys!).
Kids don't care & we can learn alot from them! They'd much rather have an evening of one-on-one time with Mom & Dad than ANY*THING* else!!
Thanks for reminding us! You are ABSOLUTLY right.
It's so true. I hear people saying all the time, "we'll get married when we can afford it" or "we're waiting to start our family until we graduate/have a great job/buy a house, etc."
We had all 3 kids while both of us were still going to college and you know what?! We were (and still are!) broke!!
And you're right. Children don't care one bit. It's just another of their many ways that they are more perfect and closer to God than we are. They know what's important--loving relationships.
It's funny. We'll buy them a toy from a toy store that cost $10, $20, $30. And after a couple days, they're right back to banging the pots and pans in the kitchen. Looking through paper towel rolls. Playing in the dirt.... ;-)
You go girl! That blog will be in the next Ensign, you watch. Simplcity is the name of the self reliance game. You make being a mom sound so pratical and fun. It goes back to the old thought of letting your kids play with measuring cups instead of $25 rattles. Thanks for being you!
This is one reason I love reading your blog- you make me want to be better! Today you motivated me to be less materialistic. You are so right that "things" really aren't that important.
As evidenced by my blog I really did enjoy decorating Charlotte's nursery (I did buy most things used or using a gift card but I still did buy them). The most amazing part is that you don't mind. I'm glad you do have some things you'd like to buy or I'd feel really bad. I wouldn't say that I love shopping (imagine how hard it would be to not buy things if you did) but I do get a thrill out of getting things I like at a good price. You have such a good perspective on so many "things"! :-)
I totally agree! I did buy a couple little outfits when we first found out Kalianna was a girl, I'll admit =-) But eveything since then has been gifts, hand-me-downs, or borrowed! My friend across the street had a girl at the same time and she bought everything a baby could never want or need, and she bought it all in pink! I just keep thinking her next four will be boys!
Me too. We have a plain childrens room (mostly out of laziness, cheapness, and/or non-creativity). Our girlies wear a ton of hand-me-downs from their older cousins. although we have splurged on a few things, like strollers (from craigslist), and Jimmy made a crib for our children. When people ask how we can have children now while in school or how it's so expensive to have more than a couple of children, we always reply that our chidren haven't cost that much. each child has probably cost less than a few hundred dollars so far for us ;-)...including diapers.
Ok, now that you've got me thinking and actually calculating...i guess it's excluding diapers. But still, it's not costly to have chidren if you choose!
All I can say is for me...THANK GOODNESS for Grandparents, Aunts who work at Nordstrom, friends who have older kids and are done having kids, consignment shops, and craigslist! Or else my kids would be sleeping on the floor and still trying to fit into clothes 2 sizes too small. For Easton's first Christmas, we bought him a sippy cup and put it in his stocking. Talk about cheap! But you're right, you get them what they need, and nothing more! I too have never had a changing table, rocking chair, and the chest of drawers for my first two kids were those plastic ones you can buy at Walmart for about $15. And my children will never remember being "poor" or "without" as kids. They'll remember being loved and happy and healthy.
And here I was, kinda feeling bad that most of our bigger baby furniture and toys were bought used. That's insane you never even bought clothes! We could have saved so much more money than we did. Wow.
Enoch looks like a stud in that picture. Wasn't sure if anyone else was going to comment on that.
And I loved this post! Who can wonder why I married such a great girl?
I was expecting someone to say "really, I couldn't live without..."
If I had to pick something to not live without it would be the swing I borrowed from my brother. But then again, if I didn't have it we'd still live. :)
In order for the truth to be established I was all for a sturdy, shallow cardboard box with a few fluffy blankets. And as the kid got bigger, we'd just find a bigger box... serves same purpose as crib, just as safe, 1000000% cheaper and easy to move :).
The wife just about divorced me over the very idea that I would dare use a box to hold our baby. . . i still don't see what the big deal is. The kid doesn't know the difference... it is an on going compromise....
The box idea cracks me up! Hey, I might have gone for it if I'd thought of it...
I'm a HUGE fan of consignment stores. Why spend a ton of money on clothes that the kid is going to wear holes in, spill spaghetti O's on, and grow out of in 6 months tops? Besides that, I get to benefit from those who disagree with my theory. Example: two years ago I got a bunch of Gap, Oshkosh, and Ralph Laren clothing at the DI all for less than I'm sure one of those articles of clothing cost the original owner. Plus, my kids don't care what brand of clothing they wear. I intend on following above said method of school shopping up until my kids refuse to do that. If I'm lucky, they'll be cool enough to never really care...all the better!
Hand me downs are awesome. You saw the post on Kate's room...looks almost designer and it's all hand me down. Can't get any better than that. In fact, 98% of the furniture in my house is hand me down...just makes me less up tight about my kids being kids around it.
Andy - we always joked about using a drawer. You have them in every house, and they really are just about the size of a bassinet!
I love that there are so many of us in the same boat. I have been married 6 1/2 years and we are still poor. If we waited until we had money, we still wouldn't have any kids. I get some clothes as hand-me-downs, but mostly I have to buy new. And I rarely pay more than $2 for a piece of clothing, but I still could have saved--and it would have been nice. Oh, and my crib and changing table we bought on clearance, but we "gave" it to our little guy as a Christmas present. I felt lame for a while, but he didn't care. I think it is great that you can pass up the urge to buy things you really don't need.
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